Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
