Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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