she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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