I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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