Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
