The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
