they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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