who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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