Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
