I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
