Your dad touched me again.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
