I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize