Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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