Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
