what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
