is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My breath smells like gin and sadness
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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