I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
