I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
