listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
