Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Less talking, more tequila
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
