you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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