ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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