Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
