Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
