that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
