i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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