I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
