absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
