I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just google imaged poop.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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