very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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