I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
