my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
