id be glad to
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
