Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
