the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just want nice things and good sex
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
