it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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