I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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