You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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