I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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