with your own penis?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
