Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just pynch a tree in the face
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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