I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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