bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
