I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
