so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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