Kiss
Puke
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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