this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My vagina is very pro this idea
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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