Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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