How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
