I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
