party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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