is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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