Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
