Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize