ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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