There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
