just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Randomize
