sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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