After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
