Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
